we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
