I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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