Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
