Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
