this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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