I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
