y did u give ur computer a hand job?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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