epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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