I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
