Where did you get a picture of my penis
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
