Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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