I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
