She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
