my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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