What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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