The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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