My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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