im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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