I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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