I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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