It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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