I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
