Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
