Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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