so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
