oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
