i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
