Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize