Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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