mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I love you.
Bad choice
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
