I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she smelled like a LAN party
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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