I'm sorry my penis didn't work
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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