look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
