Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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