Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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