He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
