kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
should my penis look like a turkey
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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