They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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