this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
