Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
