just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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