put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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