i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
