well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
