i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he fucked my hip out of place.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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