I smell stomach acid.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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