I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
