She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
