yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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