dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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