so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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