giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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