There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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