You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
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