Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
