uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
