No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
