When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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