i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
