ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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