p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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